Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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