Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
