wat bout pragnant strippers??
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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