Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
