I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
