i barfeds in our rink
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
