Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
