So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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