Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
