Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
