She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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