pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
