New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
