last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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