Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
