We're facebook friends in real life
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i out mim tonsoeep
God, I missed his penis.
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