Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
