Yo dont text me then not text me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
