I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
