Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
