The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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