Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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