Texts From Last Night

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Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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No dice

Submitted by karazyboys on Feb 27, 12 at 1:32pm

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Ugh that's just sick. I'm a girl and I would NEVER ask my man to do that.

Submitted by somebody_020202 on Feb 27, 12 at 3:18pm

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- that was my girls exact reaction
  
  Submitted by keto06 on Feb 28, 12 at 10:15am
  
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I would just ask for a brutal horse Fucking in the shower. some times having your cervix pounded into your throat is the only remedy ...

Submitted by Valkyrie on Feb 27, 12 at 3:24pm

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- Fucking awesome!
  
  Submitted by wgiraldi on Feb 28, 12 at 7:23pm
  
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Uhh... You lick the clit, no need to get messy if you know what your doing... Just saying.

Submitted by HenryS on Feb 27, 12 at 11:46pm

189 97
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- * experience high five *
  
  Submitted by cannabislecter on Feb 28, 12 at 12:20pm
  
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  - 1/2 a high five...someone with true "experience" knows that it can take more than just the clit to do the trick...just sayin
    
    Submitted by Puckstopper40 on Feb 29, 12 at 11:57pm
    
    55 110
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- Agreed!\nEspecially since she's just rinsed it off in the shower!
  
  Submitted by AlwaysTheDriver on Mar 1, 12 at 8:20am
  
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Define anything.

Submitted by KateMiles on Feb 27, 12 at 2:01pm

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thank you for ruining ravioli's for me

Submitted by MzKitty08 on Feb 27, 12 at 2:45pm

170 122
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red wings here I come

Submitted by Robzilla on Feb 27, 12 at 1:32pm

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Fuckin yuck.

Submitted by ittybitty419 on Feb 27, 12 at 4:51pm

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hell no, it tastes like pennies and ravioli as is, and now you want to add body wash.

Submitted by brokenbydisaster on Feb 27, 12 at 2:13pm

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I would rather finger-bang an alligator in a phone booth than deal with that.

Submitted by killzberryboeboy on Feb 27, 12 at 10:00pm

108 102
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- What about sandpaper the asshole of an alligator in a phone booth?
  
  Submitted by wgiraldi on Feb 28, 12 at 7:26pm
  
  47 74
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I completely understand that need

Submitted by jolea97 on Feb 27, 12 at 1:58pm

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Since no one seems to know this I am going to educate the world. When a chick is on the rag, when she goes in to the shower/pool/hot tub, basically any thing that will get her entire body wet, she will stop bleeding for that period of time. So as long as she's in the shower, you don't have to worry about blood pumping out of her. So you're totally safe to go down on her w/o anything happening. If you don't believe me, try it. It works, I swear

Submitted by DonkeyLipps on Mar 12, 12 at 3:43pm

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I would do it... :P

Submitted by reven839 on Feb 27, 12 at 8:05pm

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- I wouldn't
  
  Submitted by meteoricthrone on Feb 27, 12 at 9:14pm
  
  62 101
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- Would do it. Hell I have done it. Wasn't bad either. I stayed clean. Didnt tongue fuck her so no "pennies and ravioli" only had a little on my fingers
  
  Submitted by Farvamus_prime on Feb 28, 12 at 10:21am
  
  58 78
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blumpkin

Submitted by ck24 on Feb 27, 12 at 2:08pm

98 138
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C'mon buddy, earn your red wings...

Submitted by MasterSplinter59 on Feb 29, 12 at 3:38am

77 98
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You better bend over n let me anal! Than we got a deal

Submitted by KrAzY_Mx on Feb 27, 12 at 10:34pm

85 114
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I want a rusty trombone once a month for the next year. Deal?

Submitted by dmoney1234 on Feb 27, 12 at 2:07pm

87 118
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Just. No.

Submitted by TheAmy_ on Feb 27, 12 at 3:49pm

93 133
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Any man that says they would never swim the red sea, or dine on clams in red sauce is lying...either to you, or themselves.

Submitted by SnidelyKWhiplash on Feb 27, 12 at 11:38pm

88 124
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If you do it, she'll greatly repay you for your efforts. Trust me~

Submitted by hogfish on Sep 13, 12 at 5:03pm

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I didn't know redwings were such a scarce commodity, judging by the responses here. huh...

Submitted by SpartanSaint on Feb 28, 12 at 5:17am

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...when the river is red, use the dirt track instead...

Submitted by Collins89 on Feb 28, 12 at 5:51am

70 103
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Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

Submitted by badasschick16 on Feb 28, 12 at 4:23am

69 102
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Oh man. I think there is a clot in my tooth!

Submitted by stix7378 on Feb 29, 12 at 1:07am

70 107
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Anything you say?

Submitted by Micho523 on Feb 27, 12 at 1:35pm

75 117
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Ew ew ew.....

Submitted by LuvvyBoo1 on Feb 27, 12 at 11:29pm

62 92
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There is nothing you can do. At all!!!!

Submitted by thefireman1234 on Jan 9, 14 at 2:28pm

53 80
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Lol yall are retarded

Submitted by HippyChick on Feb 28, 12 at 8:40am

66 108
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This is when JILL comes into play. Don't torture anyone else.

Submitted by xandrasm on Feb 28, 12 at 12:35am

65 109
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There is nothing worse than pulling the string out with your teeth. Just get a hand held shower massager already. LOL

Submitted by rue4games on Feb 27, 12 at 11:18pm

55 91
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This is so rank - no guy wants to do that while you have your period

Submitted by DoubleReverse123 on Feb 28, 12 at 10:28am

64 110
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Go to hell

Submitted by Seriously44 on Feb 27, 12 at 7:30pm

63 108
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TextsFromMyStalker.blogger.com

Submitted by TFMS on Feb 27, 12 at 6:43pm

63 110
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robzilla robbed me of my comment

Submitted by thizgrL on Feb 28, 12 at 7:52am

51 88
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Fuckn gross

Submitted by PHD1026 on Feb 28, 12 at 5:28pm

65 118
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Mmm... pennies!

Submitted by bulllwinkle on Feb 27, 12 at 7:46pm

70 129
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Gr-oss!! How can u even ask some one to do that!!? That's more than stretching a favor!!

Submitted by missfidycool on Feb 28, 12 at 9:01am

60 113
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This is just fucked up on so many levels that she could even come to a reasoning that this would be alright..bitches be wile!

Submitted by imcomingatyoubro on Feb 28, 12 at 1:32am

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Did you all missed the "in the shower" bit?\nNo "red wings" if she just washed it! Duh.\n\nPlus, for good head you just lick the clit & labia. If you know what you're you don't go near the vag opening.

Submitted by AlwaysTheDriver on Mar 1, 12 at 8:23am

51 103
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Post abortion does that.

Submitted by cfreymarc on Feb 28, 12 at 1:57am

59 119
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Grossest thing I've ever read.

Submitted by Kromium on Sep 24, 13 at 5:26pm

45 94
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It takes a real man to drink from the red sea. But I would do it for a blumpkin once a week for one year.

Submitted by car_ramrod on Feb 27, 12 at 9:42pm

56 118
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Ain't scared, I already have my Double Red badge of Courage.

Submitted by hogfish on Feb 14, 13 at 8:14am

36 87
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I think I just threw up

Submitted by irishgal515 on Nov 25, 14 at 11:26pm

21 67
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How about a rimjob and he uses a waterproof vibrator on her? Don't risk going down, if you get a blood clot it'll be like accidentally eating the big chunk of fat in baked beans!

Submitted by porksword on Feb 27, 12 at 2:46pm

109 245
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- I just threw up a little. In my mouth.
  
  Submitted by Eventually on Feb 27, 12 at 3:56pm
  
  76 70
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- that is one of the sickest things ive ever read.
  
  Submitted by lusian3 on Feb 27, 12 at 4:24pm
  
  56 101
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- Holy shit, I can't even. So fucking gross.
  
  Submitted by fedorasuave on Feb 27, 12 at 5:55pm
  
  50 109
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- disgusting\nbut i laughed
  
  Submitted by ittybit420 on Feb 27, 12 at 7:03pm
  
  58 101
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- LMFAO!!! Some days you're just a sick fuck! Hysterical!!!
  
  Submitted by Hedonistic on Feb 27, 12 at 9:36pm
  
  60 92
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- Holy fucking shit dude. That's the first time I have ever gagged just by reading something.
  
  Submitted by wubbazugg on Feb 28, 12 at 11:33am
  
  65 81
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(416): View more from Toronto

Comments

Submitted by karazyboys on Feb 27, 12 at 1:32pm

Submitted by somebody_020202 on Feb 27, 12 at 3:18pm

Submitted by keto06 on Feb 28, 12 at 10:15am

Submitted by Valkyrie on Feb 27, 12 at 3:24pm

Submitted by wgiraldi on Feb 28, 12 at 7:23pm

Submitted by HenryS on Feb 27, 12 at 11:46pm

Submitted by cannabislecter on Feb 28, 12 at 12:20pm

Submitted by Puckstopper40 on Feb 29, 12 at 11:57pm

Submitted by AlwaysTheDriver on Mar 1, 12 at 8:20am

Submitted by KateMiles on Feb 27, 12 at 2:01pm

Submitted by MzKitty08 on Feb 27, 12 at 2:45pm

Submitted by Robzilla on Feb 27, 12 at 1:32pm

Submitted by ittybitty419 on Feb 27, 12 at 4:51pm

Submitted by brokenbydisaster on Feb 27, 12 at 2:13pm

Submitted by killzberryboeboy on Feb 27, 12 at 10:00pm

Submitted by wgiraldi on Feb 28, 12 at 7:26pm

Submitted by jolea97 on Feb 27, 12 at 1:58pm

Submitted by DonkeyLipps on Mar 12, 12 at 3:43pm

Submitted by reven839 on Feb 27, 12 at 8:05pm

Submitted by meteoricthrone on Feb 27, 12 at 9:14pm

Submitted by Farvamus_prime on Feb 28, 12 at 10:21am

Submitted by ck24 on Feb 27, 12 at 2:08pm

Submitted by MasterSplinter59 on Feb 29, 12 at 3:38am

Submitted by KrAzY_Mx on Feb 27, 12 at 10:34pm

Submitted by dmoney1234 on Feb 27, 12 at 2:07pm

Submitted by TheAmy_ on Feb 27, 12 at 3:49pm

Submitted by SnidelyKWhiplash on Feb 27, 12 at 11:38pm

Submitted by hogfish on Sep 13, 12 at 5:03pm

Submitted by SpartanSaint on Feb 28, 12 at 5:17am

Submitted by Collins89 on Feb 28, 12 at 5:51am

Submitted by badasschick16 on Feb 28, 12 at 4:23am

Submitted by stix7378 on Feb 29, 12 at 1:07am

Submitted by Micho523 on Feb 27, 12 at 1:35pm

Submitted by LuvvyBoo1 on Feb 27, 12 at 11:29pm

Submitted by thefireman1234 on Jan 9, 14 at 2:28pm

Submitted by HippyChick on Feb 28, 12 at 8:40am

Submitted by xandrasm on Feb 28, 12 at 12:35am

Submitted by rue4games on Feb 27, 12 at 11:18pm

Submitted by DoubleReverse123 on Feb 28, 12 at 10:28am

Submitted by Seriously44 on Feb 27, 12 at 7:30pm

Submitted by TFMS on Feb 27, 12 at 6:43pm

Submitted by thizgrL on Feb 28, 12 at 7:52am

Submitted by PHD1026 on Feb 28, 12 at 5:28pm

Submitted by bulllwinkle on Feb 27, 12 at 7:46pm

Submitted by missfidycool on Feb 28, 12 at 9:01am

Submitted by imcomingatyoubro on Feb 28, 12 at 1:32am

Submitted by AlwaysTheDriver on Mar 1, 12 at 8:23am

Submitted by cfreymarc on Feb 28, 12 at 1:57am

Submitted by Kromium on Sep 24, 13 at 5:26pm

Submitted by car_ramrod on Feb 27, 12 at 9:42pm

Submitted by hogfish on Feb 14, 13 at 8:14am

Submitted by irishgal515 on Nov 25, 14 at 11:26pm

Submitted by porksword on Feb 27, 12 at 2:46pm

Submitted by Eventually on Feb 27, 12 at 3:56pm

Submitted by lusian3 on Feb 27, 12 at 4:24pm

Submitted by fedorasuave on Feb 27, 12 at 5:55pm

Submitted by ittybit420 on Feb 27, 12 at 7:03pm

Submitted by Hedonistic on Feb 27, 12 at 9:36pm

Submitted by wubbazugg on Feb 28, 12 at 11:33am

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