ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
