I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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