Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
