i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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