help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
