Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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