You're completely useless in the revolution.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
