do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
