No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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