Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
