He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
