took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
