think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
