I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
