hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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