I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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