Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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