I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
