He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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