At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
