is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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