3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
honey bunches of taint.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
