I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
