dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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