Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So vagazzling was a success
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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