i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
