I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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