But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
