we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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